


From the Ring

by UnnamedFace



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fight Club, M/M, Other, PTSD, Past Abuse, attack on titan - Freeform, probably more characters later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-02
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2018-01-07 05:19:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1115980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnnamedFace/pseuds/UnnamedFace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean is an 18 year old kid living on the streets and fights for a living in a secret fighting ring. Marco is a 19 year old collage student. Jeans life gets turned around when Marco finds him one day and befreinds him and promises to help Jean get back on his feet. when Jean realizes his feelings for his new freckled friend may be more than he thought, he has a lot of questions for himself</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Rat

**Author's Note:**

> For anyone starting to read this- this fic is currently as mess. I wrote the first three chapters then just left it sitting here for /years/. I picked it back up recently and im slowly changing a lot. starting chapter 4 i changed the POV to be Jeans and Ch. 6 sees a tense change. I'm so sorry but please stick with me. I'm just picking up fictional writing again and i'm trying to work with what I already had of this fic instead of scrapping it. I know the early chapters arent that great but i'm working on it. This is the first fictional work i have written in years i'm very rusty but i'm trying my best and I would really appreciate it if you guys could stick with me through these transitions so i can start writing and getting the story out that I want to share. also any and all suggestions/ critiques are greatly appreciated.

“H-hey there.” I spoke in a soft gentle tone to him. He looked really messed up. He had a busted lip, a large purple and black bruise on his cheek with a cut in the middle, and he was holding his ribs. He was sitting on the curb outside of an alley. He looked about my age so I pegged him at about eighteen. “Are you okay?”

He ran his hand through his short two toned hair and looked up at me with a slight scowl. “Yeah, I’m fine…” he spoke weakly. _Man why does he seem so familiar?_ I thought. I bent down next to him so that I was at eye level with his bright amber eyes. “You don’t look too okay to me.” That’s when we were both caught off guard when we heard a large metal door slam shut. His eyes grew wide with fear. “W-what’s wrong? Are you-” he cut me off by pushing me to the side, a lot gentler than I thought, “You gotta get out of here, at least for a few minutes, please just hurry up!” He looked absolutely terrified. I trusted what he said and ran around the corner where I could still hear him talking to someone.

“Hey Rat,” it sounded like an older man, “you need to get your shit together. Here’s your pay. You have another one scheduled for tomorrow night. 8 pm sharp. Got it Rat?” Then I heard the sound of a bag dropping to the ground. What on earth were they talking about? Well it was more of a one sided conversation to be honest. And why did he keep calling him ‘Rat’? I waited until I heard the metal door shut before coming back around the corner. He looked pretty angry and was shoving a bag inside of his small purple plaid backpack.

“This is bullshit!” he scowled, slamming a hand against his backpack that was resting against his leg. Instead of saying anything, I just sat down next to him. He glanced over at me before throwing his head back with a groan. “I mean, I know I lost the last two, but I won this one! My pay shouldn’t have been cut by that much! Fucking hell…” We just sat there for a few moments in silence. He started slowly standing, still holding his ribs, and spoke softly “I’m Jean.” _Jean. Why do I feel like I’ve heard that name before…_ He slung his backpack over his right shoulder, the same side with the messed up ribs. I stood up next to him with a big smile on my face, “I’m Marco.”

“Marco…” Jean repeated quietly under his breath. “Well, Marco, now that I’ve finally been paid, I can find a cheap motel for a few nights, but first I gotta get these ribs checked out.” He started slowly stumbling out of the alley and down the street and I followed behind him. “Where are you going?” I asked genuinely interested in where an eighteen year old beat up kid would be walking to late at night. “There’s a free clinic nearby that I frequent. You can come along if you want to.” He spoke to me without even looking back. I was wondering how he wasn’t cold in the tank top and shorts he was wearing.

* * *

 

“And this my friend is the shit place I get my free medical care.” Jean spoke with his arms out stretched presenting a rundown building with a glowing sign that said “Free Clinic” in red. I was a little weary of the place so I was hesitant to follow him inside, but I did anyway.

Inside I was greeted with bright florescent lights and white walls. I could see a woman starting to walk towards us with a huge smile on her face. She had large glasses and her brown hair was pulled up in a high pony tail. She was very tall too.

“Jean,” She basically yelled as she pulled him into a hug “Oh it’s so nice to see you again!” then she broke away from Jean and came over to me, putting her hands on my shoulders. “And who might this be?” she said breaking her gaze with me and looking over to Jean.

“That’s Marco,” at the sound of my name she brought me in to a hug “now Hanji, can you stop smothering the poor boy?” _So I guess her name is Hanji. Jean must come her a lot because he and Hanji seem to be good friends._

“Oh fine,” she let go of me and began walking away gesturing for us to follow “Come along boys.” She led us down a short corridor and into a small room with a bed and some other miscellaneous medical supplies. Jean made his was over to the bed and threw his bag on the ground as he sat.

“So what did you manage to break this time, Jean?” Hanji said as she took Jeans chin in her hand to observe his nose that was now bruising. “Well I know I have some broken ribs and I think my nose is broken.” Hanji then took to pinching the bridge of his nose between her thumb and index finger. He winced in pain at the pressure.

“Yes your nose is broken indeed,” she then placed one hand on each side of his nose “ready?” Jean mumbled some sort of reply and Hanji jerked her hands and there was an audible crack. When she removed her hands I could see tears forming in Jeans eyes and his nose was swelling more. “Now that that’s out of the way, let me see those ribs.” She looked oddly excited to be doing this.

With that, jean sat up straighter and took off his black tank top. His whole right side was bruised horribly ranging from dark purple on the broken ribs to yellow on the outside. When Hanji saw she got even more excited and she was actually squealing and bouncing around in place. “Hanji, you take way to much joy in your job.” Jean scoffed. She just rolled her eyes and huffed as she began observing his ribs.

“Oh yeah you have some real messed up ribs in there. We’ll probably need an x-ray so I can make sure I reset them properly. Follow me.” Jean grumbled in reply as he stood up and followed Hanji to a door in the corner of the room which I thought was a closet. She opened the door to reveal a smaller room with an x-ray machine. I stayed behind leaning against the wall as they went into the smaller room.

Some time had passed and they finally came out of the room, x-ray in hand. Hanji held it up to the light to get a better view and continuously glanced from the x-ray to Jean mumbling to herself. Eventually she set it down and moved over to Jean and started feeling his ribs. I honestly could not keep myself from staring at him. Even all beaten and bloody he was gorgeous. His stomach and chest were so finely toned and I even got a glimpse of what appeared to be a tattoo on his back.

I was drawn from my thoughts when I heard Hanji speak. “Okay now we have to do this three times. We can either do it one right after another to get it over quickly, or have time between each one for a little recovery.” She had her hands on his ribs but her back was blocking the rest of my view so I didn’t really know what else she was doing. “I don’t care Hanji I just want them to be fixed.” Jean sounded faintly annoyed.

The next thing I knew there was a loud cracking sound and Jean yelled something that was somewhat of a combination of ‘fuck’ and ‘shit’. He just hung his head down and Hanji took a step back. “Damn Hanji, I swear it always hurts five times more getting bones reset than it does getting them broken.” He looked up at her with a smirk and she squealed and put her hands back on his ribs to set the last two.

* * *

 

“Thanks Hanji, you’re too good to me.” Jean said with a chuckle as he gave her one last hug for the night. “Oh I just do what I have to do to keep kids like you healthy!”

“Hanji, I’m eighteen now, I’m not a kid anymore!” he scoffed.

“Jean, you’ll always be a kid to me.” She said as she messed up his hair. “And Marco, it was so nice to meet you!” She brought me in to yet another one of her patented bear hugs. As we walked out the front door of the clinic she called out to us “You boys be safe! Have a nice night!” In unison Jean and I yelled “Good night Hanji!”

“Well Marco, that crazy woman in there is probably my closest friend.” He chuckled and continued walking. “So Jean, what are you gonna do now? It’s 1:30 in the morning.” I hadn’t realized it was so late. It was a good thing I didn’t have class in the morning.

“Me? Well I’ll probably go find some cheap ass motel…” we stopped under a street lamp and he was looking down at his feet. I felt bad for him. He was so young to already be living on the streets.

“You know, Jean, you don’t have to find a cheap motel to stay in.” He looked up at me with his dancing amber eyes filled with confusion. “What I mean is, um, well I have an apartment not far from here and I have a spare room you can use…” The smile that grew on his face filled me with joy. The most smiling I saw from him was a simple smirk when he was talking to Hanji.

“R-really? You would let me stay with you, Marco?” I nodded and his smile grew bigger as he threw an arm around my shoulder and we started walking off to my apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a little short (It seemed longer when i was typing it in Word) and it focuses more on Jean than Marco but yeah. I think I might do another version of this from Jeans point of view but im unsure. My tumblr is http://unnamedfaceao3.tumblr.com/ so you guys can go there and ask me questions, give suggestions, and other things of the sort! Thank you all for reading!


	2. The Fight That Changed Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean is confronted with a fight that changes everything for him, and Marco has to care for him

“Hey Marco?” Jean spoke as he walked into the living room area in just boxer shorts and a towel drying his hair from his shower. “Thanks again for letting me stay here, it really means the world me.” _God he looks so good right now. Damn it Marco stop staring!_

“Oh it’s my pleasure really. But um can I ask-” I was cut off suddenly by Jean sitting down on the couch next to me and finishing my sentence before I had the chance to. “Why I was all beat up?” he spoke softly. I just nodded in reply.

“You see, I’ve never had a good relationship with my parents. And yes I’m starting at the literal beginning of everything. My mother was good for nothing at all, she was hooked on too many drugs. My father was a drunk asshole. My dad was always pushing me around and beating up on me. Once I got in eight grade it was no longer one sided fights anymore. I started fighting back when he hit me. And that’s just how it was every day. Then one day when I came home from school my mom wasn’t there, and well she never came back. No one knows where she went or if she’s even still alive. All throughout high school I was always getting in trouble for fighting. It was two months into senior year at Trost High School,” _That’s it! That’s where I knew him from, we went to high school together!_ “And long story short, some bull shit stuff happened and I got kicked out. When my dad found out, man that was the worst beating he’d ever given me.”

I could actually see the pain in his eyes. He had the most expressive eyes ever. “He kicked me out of the house then, told me to never come back. He said since I was seventeen I could find my way on my own. So I was wondering the streets one night, my seventh night on the streets, and I got jumped by two guys in an alley. But I’ve been fighting my whole life so naturally I beat their asses. One person saw what happened and after the two guys who tried robing me left, he confronted me. His name is Levi. He told me I have some serious skill when it comes to fighting. And he told me about this place, I wouldn’t really call it a club but that’s basically what it is. It’s a fight club. Each fighter has a so called ‘sponsor’ and Levi said he would be mine. So basically I fight for a living. You get paid if you win and you don’t if you lose, some sort of motivation for the sponsors’ fighters to win so they get money from the bets. When you found me today I had just come out of a fight and that’s why I looked so bad. When Levi was coming out to give me my pay I told you to hide because this ‘club’ is more like a secret organization, no outsiders are really supposed to know about it, and I didn’t want you to get hurt for being there.”

I was shocked beyond belief from what he had just shared with me. “W-wow Jean, that’s just… Wow.” I didn’t really know what to say. But then I remembered what the now-named man Levi said to Jean in the alley _“You have another one scheduled for tomorrow. 8 pm sharp.”_ He must have been telling him he has another fight. “So Jean, you have another fight tomorrow? Well I guess it’s today since its 2:56 am.”

“Yeah, it’ll be an interesting one too. I’m fighting Eren Jaeger. He’s tough, I’ve seen some of his fights before and they’re brutal. Currently he and I are tied for wins. He’s like my arch enemy, so the fight between us today means everything.” Eren Jaeger was another kid who went to Trost High School, and what Jean said about him being tough was every bit true. I had seen a fight at school between Eren and some other kid and it was pretty bad. And now I’m sure Eren was even better and I feared for Jean in a way. Jaeger was a hot head with a short temper and wouldn’t hesitate to beat someone senseless.

“Man Jean, that’s rough… Jaeger is such a hot head.” I said shaking my head. Then Jean stood up and slung the dark green towel over his shoulder. “You know Marco, it’s getting late we should head off to bed.” And with that I showed him to my guest room and gave him some clothing to use and then made my way to bed.

            As I was lying in bed I couldn’t stop thinking about the tattoo Jean had on his back. I finally got a good look at it, and it was beautiful. It was a blue wing with a white one overlaying it and on the base of his neck in blue letters it said “Freedom”. I wondered what sort of meaning or significance these wings and the word “freedom” meant to Jean.

* * *

            

When I woke up it was roughly 7:30. I decided I might as well get out of bed any way despite it being a Saturday. As I walked down the hallway making my way to the kitchen, I hear a strange sound. I walked over to Jeans room and saw he slept with the door open to let the light in. He was tossing and turning in his sleep and mumbling nonsense. _Awe man, he’s having a nightmare. He probably hasn’t slept well in days since he has been sleeping in that alley, so should I wake him up or let him sleep?_ I decided I would heat up a cup of coffee and come back and if he was still tossing and turning I would wake him up.

If you’ve ever wondered what Saturday mornings are like at 7:30, well they are boring. Everyone is asleep so there’s nothing to do but get coffee and sit. Once my coffee was heated I grabbed it and went back to Jeans room where he was still suffering the terrors of his nightmare. I quietly set my mug down on the dresser and sat on the side of the bed. “Jean. Jean wake up.” I said in a calm low voice gently shaking his shoulder. He slowly rolled out of his sleep and just stared at the ceiling like he was running through the dream again.

“You okay Jean? You were having a pretty bad nightmare.” My hand was still resting on his shoulder and his skin was hot against my hand. “Yeah I’m okay. I’m used to it…” _‘I’m used to it’ that means he has dreams like this often. That’s terrible!_

“Is there anything I can get you?” I asked in a smooth voice. Seeing him like this broke my heart. He was lying in bed with the blanket tangled around his legs, his hair dampened with sweat, and heavy, labored breathing. “Oh no it’s okay.” He said catching his breath. I nodded and stood up grabbing my coffee. “Want any coffee?” I said with a huge smile on my face, trying to cheer him up. “Sure,” He mumbled untangling the sheets from his legs, “I’ll be out in a minuet.” And I took that as my queue to leave.

“Did I wake you up when I was dreaming?” Jean was standing in the kitchen door way with his hand on the back of his neck looking nervously at the ground. “Oh no, sometimes I’m just an early riser.” He sighed with relief when I said that and he grabbed himself a cup of coffee.

“You know Marco, I’m actually kind of scared for tonight. Eren turns into a beast hungry for blood whenever he’s in that ring, and I’m gonna be in there with him. I’ve seen how bad he’s messed some people up and I’m fucking terrified.” I knew what he meant, Eren was crazy when it came to fighting. “What happens if you just don’t go to the fight?” After hearing how scared he was, I didn’t want him to fight Eren. “Levi would probably kill me.” That’s not the answer I was hoping for.

* * *

 

I was anxiously looking at the clock. It was 7:40. Twenty minutes until Jean would be beaten senseless. I really didn’t want him to go but he said the aftermath of the fight would be better than the aftermath if he didn’t.

“Hey Jean,” I was fumbling with a spare house key in my hand, “I want you to have this. It’s a house key so you can always get in even if I’m not here. After your fight tonight I want you to come back here.” He must have seen the worry in my eyes because he put his hand on my shoulder and spoke softly, “I will Marco, don’t worry.” He took they key from my hand and walked out of the door with a smile.

I figured I had nothing better to do with the time while Jean was gone so I figured I could settle my nerves with a nap. So I made my way to my room and laid down. It took a while but I eventually nodded off into a light sleep.

I was woken when I heard the front door shut and a bag drop to the ground. I got out of bed and ran down the hallway. I was greeted to a groaning bloody Jean. He obviously didn’t even bother stopping by the clinic to see Hanji, he just came straight back to my apartment.

“Jean! Oh god Jean!” I ran over and caught him just before he collapsed to the ground. I got him to the kitchen table and set him in one of the chairs. “I’ll be right back Jean.” _Oh god he is really messed up and I don’t even know what to do…_ I grabbed a washcloth, some spray to put on his wounds, a tub of water, and some pain killers because he was obviously in a lot of pain. I made my way back to the kitchen and set everything on the table. I dipped the washcloth in the tub of water and gently whipped away the blood on his face. He had a good sized gash on his cheek that I instructed him to hold the washcloth to so that the bleeding would stop. The knuckles on both of his hands were busted and bloody so I went back to the bathroom and grabbed some bandages for them.

I was cleaning up his right hand and wrapping it in a bandage when he weakly spoke to me, “Marco, thank you…” I looked up at him and smiled, moving his hand down from his cheek to reveal the cut stopped bleeding. I quickly put the ointment on it and closed it off with two butterfly bandages. His shirt was all bloody so I pulled it off of him and put it in my laundry room so I could wash it later.

Once I had him all cleaned and patched up, I walked him to bed. Once in bed, I sat next to him as he just sat in bed with his head hanging. “Jean…” I whispered with no intention of finishing the sentence I had started. He just answered me by pulling me into a hug. I felt the hot air of a whimper graze my shoulder as he hugged me tighter. Before I knew it he was completely sobbing. “Shhh Jean it’s okay, it’s okay.” I whispered in his ear as I stroked the back of his hair and rubbed his back.

“I don’t want to do this anymore Marco. I don’t want to fight like that anymore.” He managed to say between his sobs. “I just can’t take it much longer Marco.” That’s when I discovered he was still holding back on some as his sobs when he completely broke and lost any shred of composure he had left. By this time we were laying down in his bed, my arms wrapped around him and his head was buried in the crook of my neck. We laid like that for the longest time, with Jean crying into my shirt and me whispering phrases such as ‘it’s okay’ and ‘Don’t worry it’s okay now” into his ear. Eventually his sobs subsided to sniffles and whimpers and he eventually dosed off into slumber. I couldn’t bring myself to leave him, for fear I would wake him when I left, and because I just didn’t want to ever let go of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, this one is a little longer than the last chapter and I hope you like it! Thank you guys! My tumblr is http://unnamedfaceao3.tumblr.com/ if you guys have any questions, comments, or even suggestions you can send them to me either on my Tumblr or on here!


	3. Options

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Jean gets fixed up and a shit ton of french toast, some options are presented, and a cheesy rom-com

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im so sorry this took so long! My computer wasnt working but it is now! I hope you enjoy! (More notes at the end)

Im unsure of what time it was when I finally woke up, but the sun was up and light was filtering into the bedroom from the window. Jean was still curled up to my chest asleep. I was hesitant to do so, but I slowly stretched out my limbs, save my right arm because Jean was laying on top of it. When I rested my left arm back over him he mumbled in protest to me moving. I couldn’t help but chuckle. Looking down at him he was so cute when he was sleepy. His hair was all messed up and his eyes were lazy.

“Good morning sleepy!” I said in a sing-song voice. He just mumbled and tucked his head down with intent on going back to sleep. “Oh come on sleepy, we should probably go down and see Hanji, you know?”

He just stirred around mumbling before finally saying “Okay…” and sitting up. He was leaning against the headboard lazily rubbing his eyes and yawning. _Man he’s so cute when he looks like this!_ I could see bruises of various sizes and colors littering his chest and stomach and I felt a pang in my heart as I remembered last night.

“Okay, so what do you say we go down and see Hanji and then go get some food?” I suggested, seeing as neither of us ate dinner last night and I knew Jean had to have been hungry. “Yeah that sounds good to me,” he said with a smile “I’m gonna hit the shower first though.” He still sounded drowsy as he stood up and made his way to the bathroom.

I laid in bed for a few more minutes before deciding to clean myself up as well. I put on a white polo shirt, some old blue jeans, my black sneakers, and a black hoodie with the ‘Vans Off The Wall’ logo on it. I quickly fix the mess of my hair and went to the kitchen to make coffee, because I just can’t function without my morning coffee.

“Hey Marco can I borrow a shirt?” Jean yelled out to me from down the hall. _Well I would much rather you not wear a shirt but…_ “Of course you can! They’re in the middle drawer of my dresser.”

He walked out a few minutes later in his same old faded skinny jeans, a blue and white baseball tee, his sneakers, and his worn out green army jacket. He poured himself a cup of coffee in the mug he has seemed to have claimed as his own. “I’m ready whenever.” He said with a smile. With that we left to go see Hanji at the clinic.

* * *

“So Eren Jaeger huh,” Hanji said as she was examining the cut on Jeans cheek, “you know, he came in here last night. You really did a number on him Jean.” When she said that I could tell he was a little prideful about it. “He had quite a few broken bones. Mostly ribs, but what happened to his hand? Two of his metacarpals were broken.” She must have saw his confusion because she quickly simplified it for him. “Metacarpals are the long bones in your hand.” She picked up his left hand and traced them on his palm.

“Oh yeah that, you see he was laying on the ground and he sweeped me so trying to avoid falling on my face, I accidentally stepped on his hand. That must have been how they broke.” Hanji just nodded as she continued examining Jean. In the bright florescent lights I could see his injuries better. He had a large bruise on the top right side of his forehead right below his hair line, a blueish-green bruise on the left side of his jaw, and a few small yellow bruises amongst his face and neck. Hanji was tending to the cut on his cheek, informing him it would need stitches.

I was watching Hanji stitch up Jeans cheek and I couldn’t help but think it was beautiful. Her hands worked so intricately and delicately, quickly but carefully, it must have taken her a lot of practice to master. Once it was sutured, she placed a bandage on it to keep it from getting infected. Next was his hands.

Both of his wrist and knuckles were swollen. Hanji was feeling his wrists and mumbling to herself. “Well I’m pretty positive you have fractures in some of your carpals, the little bones in your wrists, and possibly fractured a few of your knuckles too. We will have to take some x- rays. Now let me see those ribs because I know that there is no way you didn’t hurt them.” And Hanji was right. The three ribs she set for him yesterday needed to be reset again along with another one on his left side. He didn’t need any x-rays for those because Hanji already knew the ones on his right side and the one on his left was a clean break.

“Okay lets go x-ray those hands of yours now.” Hanji lead Jean to the same small room they were in just yesterday and I assumed my position on the back wall so I could see in the room. They came back out shortly. “They are just small fractures, nothing serious. They are hairline fractures, so they should heal quickly. The same goes for your knuckles. I’m gonna have you wear these braces on your wrists, only for a week or two, to limit the movement so your bones will have time to heal. As for you knuckles, you just need to keep bandages on them like you had so the scrapes can heal.” She then put the braces on his wrists.

“Thanks Hanji, you really are my savior. I don’t know what I would do without you.” Jean said with a glimmer of happiness in his eyes. “Oh Jean, you don’t have to thank me! But I am a little surprised at the amount of damage you did to Eren. That must have been one hell of a fight.” I could pick up a hint of worry in her voice. “So, can you tell me what all was wrong with him? I really hope I didn’t hurt him too bad.” Despite what Jean said about him and Eren being enemies, he was still a caring person and was worried about him.

“Well, he came in last night, it was around one in the morning, and he was completely out of it. He had five broken ribs. On his right side it was his sixth, seventh, and eighth ribs, and his left side it was his fifth and sixth. His left hand was broken and left shoulder dislocated. He had various bruises and cuts. He actually has a matching bruise to the one on your forehead,” she said putting her hand on the bruise on his forehead, “and he has a concussion.”

I could tell Jean was shocked by the amount of damage he had done to Eren, and I even saw a hint of remorse in his face. “He’ll be okay Jean, you don’t need to worry.” Hanji said softly, then waved me over to the hallway to talk.

“What is it Hanji?” I ask quizzically.

“Jean is living with you right?” she questioned, and I nodded in response, “okay, well he has a slight concussion and I just don’t want him to mix anything up. I’m giving him two different medications, one for the pain and the other is an anti-inflammatory so that the swelling in his hands and ribs will go down. I don’t want him to mix them up and accidentally take too many of one because of his concussion, so I’m putting you in charge of giving them to him.”

“Okay, yeah I can do that. You said slight concussion right? So it’s not that bad?” I knew absolutely nothing about head injuries.

“Yes, it’s just a small one, it should fade away in about a week. And until all of his injuries heal, you need to take care of him. I know he likes to act like he can do everything for himself, but especially now that he’s hurt, he needs your help Marco.” She gave me a huge smile and adjusted her glasses.

We went back in the room to join Jean again and she gave me his medications, which I stored in my hoodie pocket for the time. She led us to the front door but not without giving us hugs like always. “You two take care of yourselves, okay? You can always come to me if you need anything.” She had the sweetest smile. “Thank you Hanji, for everything. You’re great!” and this time I was the one to initiate the hug.

* * *

 

It was about 10:30 am and we were walking down the city street looking for somewhere to eat. “So do you want anything in particular?” I questioned. It seemed as though he forgot we were looking for a place to eat. “I don’t know about you, but I would kill for some French toast right now.” He said with a chuckle. “There’s a little breakfast place nearby, we can go there.” I spoke with a smile.

It was a short walk to the diner, but it was November so the days were cold. That short walk left me shivering. I was relieved when we were greeted with warmth as we entered the building.

“Hey Marco! Glad to see you around again. Who’s this?” It was Sasha. Her and her best friend, whom everyone was surprised wasn’t dating her, Connie, both worked at the diner. I spent a lot of my time in the diner, mostly going there to study, so I was good friends with Sasha and Connie.

“Oh hey Sasha! This is my friend Jean.” She smiled at him, not mentioning his cuts and bruises, and greeted him. “It’s nice to meet you Jean! I’m Sasha. And that back there,” she said pointing back behind the counter to a waving Connie, “Is my friend Connie.” We held a short conversation with Sasha and ordered a bunch of French toast.

Connie was the one to bring us our food, but like always, he didn’t leave right away. He pushed me over on the booth so he had room to sit. “So you’re Jean I take it?” he said in his typical happy tone. Jean mumbled a “yeah” as he continued shoving food in his mouth. “So Marco, I haven’t seen you around lately, what’s up with that?”

“Oh you know typical college stuff. I’ve had a lot of papers due recently and I just couldn’t find the time to get out here.” He just nodded. “What’s your major again?” Just like Connie, always forgetting things. “I major in English Language and Literature.” It was a pretty boring major, but ive always been best at English classes.

“Boring. You should have done what I said and majored in Phycology!” Connie was always telling me to major in phycology when I was still trying to decide what classes to take. “Its not that bad Connie.” He’s never been a big fan of anything related to school.

“Sure, whatever you say Freckles. Nice meeting you Jean!” and Connie got up to continue on with his job. He may not like working, but he always did it anyway.

“I won. Last night, I won the fight with Jaeger. I don’t know how I did, hell I don’t even remember much of the fight because at one point I hit my head pretty damn hard on the ground, but I did it.” I was thrown a little off guard at first, but I was so happy for him.

“You did! Oh that’s great!” I tried to not sound to overly excited. “Yeah I guess so. Levi is giving me at least a week off, maybe even more. He said if I want to stop fighting, now is the time for me to back out and leave the ring. He may seem like a real asshole, but Levi is actually really understanding. He knew just by looking at me after that fight that I didn’t want to do it anymore, so he’s offering me a way out.” Jean was speaking quietly.

“Oh wow that’s wonderful! Are you gonna leave?” when he looked up at me I couldn’t tell what he was feeling, which was strange because I could almost always tell because his eyes were so expressive. “That’s the thing Marco, I want to, I do, but I’m not sure. That place is the only place I know. I have a ‘family’ there with the other fighters. I don’t know how to live a normal life. I never graduated high school and the only sort of job ive ever had has been knocking someone out for a few hundered.”

I knew what he meant, that truly is the only life he’s ever known. “Well Jean, if you really don’t want to fight anymore, then you should leave.” Now knowing that he had the option to leave, I wanted him to. “I don’t know Marco, I just need to think about it a little. I mean I have at least a week before I have to decide, right?”

* * *

 

It was late in the evening and Jean and I were laying on the couch watching some cheesy rom-com that was on T.V. My apartment gets cold in the winter so even though we were laying on opposite sides of the couch, our legs intertwined under the blanket we were sharing.

“Thanks Marco,” I was a little confused about what he was thanking me for at first, “you’re a great friend to me. Just, thanks for being here. I don’t know where I would be if it weren’t for you.” I swear in the moment after he said that, I saw an actual twinkle in his eye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ending is kinda bad but I was trying to hurry and get this up since its been so long! My tumblr is www.unnamedfaceao3.tumblr.com You can ask me any questions you have or even leave some suggestions! Thanks for the comments and kudos!


	4. Running Out of Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From Jeans POV. Mostly filler seeing as this is the first chapter i've written in years, sorry guys! It's pretty short but im just now getting back into writing and im trying to remember/figure out where im going with this fic
> 
> Also I realized I kinda repeated things from the previous chapter (at the diner) but changed it so I’m sorry if that doesn’t make sense 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be trying to update this more regularly, no more years of not being updated. Not sure how many people actually still care about this fic but im still going to try to finish it regardless. I may finish it all in Jeans POV or alternate different chapters being in Jeans and Marcos POV. My Tumblr is unnamedfaceao3.tumblr.com if you have any questions or suggestions feel free to contact me on there or on here!

2:30 AM. Barely an hour of sleep and I was already awoken in a cold sweat. The images just replaying in my mind over and over again as I stare at the ceiling.

                “Maybe some fresh air will help.” I said to no one in particular seeing as how it was just me lying in bed in Marcos guest room. Even though it was mid-November I didn’t feel like putting on anything warm, I just wanted to get some fresh air and calm down. In just my boxers I stumbled out of my room. My ribs were killing me and my head felt like it was spinning as I crossed the small apartment to get to the balcony.

                It was a clear night, the stars were shining brightly and for some reason the first thing they reminded me of were the little freckles that littered Marcos body. That first night in the alley I recognized him immediately. Marco Bodt, star student and everyone’s best friend. I would see him around the high school all the time, along with Sasha and Connie. But I don’t think any of them really ever noticed me. I was the quiet kid, just trying to get by. I never really had any friends in high school, just kids I would get in fights with and Eren was always the first one to try and get me to swing.

                “It’s a bit cold out don’t you think?” his voice startled me and I was hoping he didn’t see me jump because of it. In his hands was a big fuzzy blanket he had taken from the couch.

                “Just a tad.” I said jokingly as Marco wrapped the blanket around my shoulders. He leaned against the railing of the balcony next to me and sat in silence. I think he was waiting for me to offer some sort of explanation as to why I was standing on his balcony in just my underwear at 2:30 in the morning.

                “I couldn’t sleep. I mean I did sleep a little but the fucking dreams…” I didn’t know where I was going with that sentence, I didn’t really want to talk about my dreams. They were more memories than dreams. Memories of my dad beating me senseless for no reason other than the fact that he had a few too many to drink, or memories of my mom standing by doing nothing as I was being thrown across rooms or her burying herself in drugs. I looked over at him, he was watching me and waiting patiently for me to gather my thoughts and continue. “I’ve never been good at sleeping, even when I was little. Hell I think the sleep I got after the fight with Eren was the best sleep I’ve gotten in a long time.” It didn’t occur to me until after I had said it that the night of the fight with Eren I had fallen asleep in Marcos arms.

                Suddenly everything started spinning more than it already was and I was sure I was about to be greeted by the ground when I found Marcos arms wrapped around me. “Whoa there, are you okay Jean?” he said with a level of concern that I had never heard anyone talk to me with before, not even Hanji. “Come on, let’s get you inside.” He practically dragged me inside and sat me on the couch. I felt so pathetic, I had never needed anyone to take care of me before, but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t grateful and happy I had someone do it for once.

_______________________________

                “Good morning sunshine,” I heard Marcos voice coming from the kitchen, I must have fallen asleep on the couch after he brought me in. He walked up to me and handed me two pills and a glass of water. It was about noon, he must have just left me to sleep as much as I could. But those beautiful brown eyes weren’t a bad sight to wake up to.

“Thank you Marco, but what even happened last night? The last thing I remember was I was on the balcony and then suddenly I was on the couch.” Rubbing the back of my neck I waited for him to fill me in.

“You just kinda collapsed I guess. If I didn’t catch you, you probably would have hit your head real hard on the ground. I’m just glad I caught you in time.”   _Jean Kirstein you’re better than that, you don’t just collapse when you’re not feeling well like that._ I think he saw the slight embarrassment on my face and changed the subject. “How about we go get something to eat? You must be hungry.”

Before I had time to say anything, my stomach answered for me by growling for an ungodly amount of time, it seemed like it was never going to stop. He just chuckled and said “I’ll take that as a yes. Let me hop in the shower real quick and we can head out whenever you’re ready.” With that perfect smile on his face he turned for the bathroom. He had one of those infectious smiles, the kind that lights up a room and makes you want to smile no matter what. I couldn’t help but let a little smirk slide onto my face as he disappeared around the corner.

I figured I should get myself cleaned up as well. In my little backpack I had only two outfits worth of clothes, and both were bloodstained. Marco had thrown them in with his laundry at one point so they were clean but nothing would was away the stains. That’s why they were all dark colors. I learned that blacks and greys hid the blood a bit better. I put on my worn out black jeans but if I were being honest I didn’t want to put on either of the shirts I had. The faded black tank top was riddled with holes near the bottom from who knows what, and my grey T- shirt had a lot more blood stains on it than I would care to admit. I never paid much attention to what I was wearing but Marco always looked so nice, it was obvious I was the homeless kid when I stood next to him.

“You know you can borrow any of my shirts if you’d like. They may not all be much your style but I’ve got to have something you would like.” When I turned around Marco was standing in the doorway wearing jeans with his shirt in his hands. It was inside out and he was fumbling with it trying to get it right side out. But I was hardly focusing on the shirt, his tanned body behind it is what caught my attention. He was a lot more fit and toned than I expected and English major to be. The freckles on his face cascaded down onto his chest and arms and sprinkled his stomach. On his right shoulder there was a long scar, it looked very clean cut and surgical. I must have been staring for longer than I thought because the silence was broken when he uttered my name. “Jean, you okay?”

“Huh? Oh yeah sorry, just my head, ya know?” He totally saw through my half assed excuse. _Damn it Jean get it together._ “I think I’ll have to take you up on that offer about your shirts. I really need to just go buy a few more…” I kind of trailed off at the end of that sentence. I didn’t want him to think I couldn’t afford to buy more, which sometimes was true, but when you’re living on the streets the less you have to carry the better off you are.

______________________________

“Marco! Oh and you brought Jean again!” Sasha seemed a bit too excited to see us back at the diner but I remembered her always been like that back when I would see her at Trost High. She stopped dead in her tracks when she got a good look at my face once Marco and I found a table to sit at. “Oh my god what happened?” She practically yelled it, heads turned from all of the diner to look at me. Like I had mentioned before, I was always the shy quiet kid, I don’t like attention being drawn to me a lot and I think Marco sensed how uncomfortable I was.

“Sasha, not now okay?” he said gently. It didn’t take Connie long to show up and push me aside in the booth to sit next to me. I couldn’t help but think he looked oddly familiar, and not just because we went to high school together.

“Man I would say you should go see my aunt, she’s a doctor, but judging by those sutures on your cheek you already saw someone.” Connie said while inspecting the sutures and bruises on my face. _Hanji, could it be?”_

“Hanji? Is that your aunt?” Connie looked quite puzzled when I said her name.

“Y-yeah, how’d you know that?” he said quizzically.

“You two look a lot alike you know. I see her a lot, sh-she’s the one that patched me up actually…” I don’t know where I intended on this conversation going and I wished desperately someone would change the subject. I didn’t want anyone asking why I saw Hanji so much. Sure I was a street rat that fought for a living but I didn’t really want everyone knowing that.

“Oh cool! She’s pretty great isn’t she?” Connie said as he got up to go back to bussing the dirty tables. _Thank god he didn’t as why I saw her all the time…_

 _*Bzzzzz* *Bzzzzz*_ My phone buzzing in my pocket startled me, getting a message usually only meant one thing.

_Message from: Levi_

_Rat it’s been three days, you need to decide soon if you’re staying or leaving. Time is running out._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Tumblr is unnamedfaceao3.tumblr.com if you have any questions or suggestions feel free to contact me on there or on here!


	5. Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeans POV. Jean makes his decision on whether or not to leave the Ring and insight into his home life is brought in the form of a nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again sorry for so much filler, the next chapter wont be like this. Itll be Jeans POV and will have a fight scene! My tumblr is unnamedfaceao3.tumblr.com if you have questions or suggestions feel free to contact me on there or on here!

“But Levi I just don’t know. I don’t want to fight anymore, I’m tired of always being broken. I’ve been getting the shit beat out of me since I was seven. But because of that, this is all I know. I don’t know how to do anything else but fight…” I didn’t have anything else to say, at least anything else that I could put into words.

“Well today’s the day you gotta decide Rat. I need to know if I’m putting your name on the roster for tomorrow or not. I know you don’t want to do this anymore, that’s why I’m offering you an out, but the decision is all you, kid.” As much as I have always hated Levi, he wasn’t always that bad. He was just doing his job after all. He always made sure I got paid when it was due, and when I didn’t earn it he has been known to toss a $20 my way so I could at least feed myself. He always made sure when I got real hurt that I got the help I needed and the times when I couldn’t get there myself he’s dropped me off at the front steps of the clinic. He wasn’t always terrible, he hated his job just as much as I hated mine.

“Put me on the roster.” I said with a stern voice trying to not let him know I was really scared shitless about what I had just signed myself up for.

“If that’s what you want.” He said as he diligently started filling in the rest of the roster and schedule for the week. Usually I would end up in anywhere from two to five fights a week, and I was hoping that this week would be an easy one.

It was strange seeing Levi outside of the ring. Usually I would just get a text at the beginning of the week telling me when to show up and who I was fighting, even though half the time I didn’t even know of the person. The only time I ever talked to him in person was before and after a fight. But just sitting in a mostly empty McDonalds with him was odd.

After talking a bit longer about the upcoming week and parting our ways I started making the walk back to Marcos apartment but I wanted to stop by and say hi to Hanji, the clinic was on the way back to the apartment anyway. I met Hanji when I was seven, shortly after my dad started beating on me. She and my mom were friends, Hanji was trying to get my mom clean and off drugs so she could actually take care of me because that obviously wasn’t my father’s specialty. She would fix me up every time I was greeted by my father’s fists. As I got older I was seeing her a lot more often whether it was from an incident at home or with a kid at school. I couldn’t believe I never pieced together that she was Connie’s aunt. She always talked about her nephew that lived with her and they were so similar I must’ve been blind to never see it before.

“Hey Hanji!” I said as I took her into my arms.

“Well now look at you! You’re looking so much better, how are you feeling?” The words came out gently as she was inspecting the sutures on my cheek.

“Much better, but not for long,” She looked at me with a puzzled look drawn across her face, _that’s the exact same look Connie gave me. How did I never realize they were related?_ “I have another fight tomorrow.”

She sat me down and started getting out the utensils needed to remove my stitches, I guess she decided after staring at them that it was time for them to come out. “Do you feel like you can do it? I mean you’re still fairly beat up and there’s no way those ribs are completely healed yet.”

“I know, I know. But I don’t have a choice. I was told I have to fight tomorrow so I have to show up. As long as nothing changes in between now and the fight, I was told it should be an easy one for me. And I’ll get paid more than I was getting paid before too because I won against Eren.” I was trying to move my face as little as possible when talking because I didn’t want to disrupt her taking out the stitches.

“Well kiddo you know where I’ll be. You’ll never guess who I saw in here yesterday.” She said in a tone prompting me to ask who, even though in the moment I wasn’t particularly interested.

“And who might that be?”

“None other than Francois Kirstein. Jean, your dad came in yesterday.” She just stared at me waiting for my response. But I had nothing to say. I hadn’t seen or spoken to my father in the year since he kicked me out.

“Oh… w-what was he here for?” I was semi interested, but at the same time I considered him dead to me for the longest time, I wasn’t sure I was ready for all of this.

“He had a nail through the center of his hand. Dumbass and his friends decided to get drunk and build something. He came in with a 2x4 attached to it and everything.” I guess she could tell by the look on my face that I was done talking about my father. “Alrighty we’re all done here, what do you say, why don’t I give you a ride over to Marcos place?”

_______________________________________________

                As the keys jingled to the ground I let out a deep sigh. _It shouldn’t be so hard to unlock a door right?_ I picked them up and tried again. My hands were shaky because I was still stuck on the thought of my father. _Deep breath Jean. Just breathe and twist the key and then you can go lay in bed and sleep this off._

                “Hey you! I was wondering if you were gonna be home tonight,” _Home. I haven’t heard that in a long time. Is this place considered my home now too?_ “Jean are you alright, you look a little pale.” he said getting up from his seat on the couch and placing a hand on my shoulder.

                “Huh? Yeah I’m fine. I just went to see Hanji, got the stitches out of my cheek,” I stopped for a second unsure if I should tell him or not, “She saw my dad yesterday.” I said as I pushed past Marco and walked to the kitchen sink. Splashing water on my face I hoped Marco would pick up on the fact that I didn’t want to talk about him any longer. The few sentences Hanji told me earlier were enough.

                “I’m sorry Jean, is there anything I can do for you?” he said in a soft voice.

                “Not get mad at me…” my statement and pleading look on my face must have caught him off guard.

                “Jean I don’t understand.” He said

                “I have a fight tomorrow. I can’t leave, not yet. I don’t know anything else but that place Marco. As much as I wish I could leave, I’m not prepared for that.” It seemed like ages before he responded, and it was killing me waiting for the words to leave his mouth.

                “Jean I’m not mad at you, I could never be mad at you for it. And I’ll be right here waiting for you to come home tomorrow.” _Home. That word again._

“Thank you Marco. I think I’m just gonna go to bed, it’s been a night.” I said drying off my face and heading down the hallway.

“Okay, you know where I’m at if you need anything. I have class in the morning but I’ll be back by One-ish tomorrow afternoon.” He said with that same grin on his face.

I walked into my room and immediately stripped down just to my boxers, I’ve never been able to sleep while wearing a bunch of clothes, it was never comfortable trying to sleep like that. And unlike most 18 year old boys, I always opted to sleep with my door open. I liked the soft light it offered and it also allowed me to hear what’s going on. I started doing it when I was about ten. If I slept with my door open I would wake up by hearing my dad when he had too much to drink and I could prepare myself in case something happened. It just kind of stuck with me and became habit. But the funny thing was that after the first few night I was at Marco’s, he also started sleeping with his door open.

_I’m on the ground in my living room, things are thrown all over the floor and he’s on top of me. Holding me down he slugs me in the face twice, then once more for good measure. Blood is rushing from my now crooked nose._

_“Dad please… please stop… je commence papa…” pleads are met with fists, and fists are rewarded with whimpers and tears. I can smell the alcohol on his breath, whiskey, it’s his favorite. My ribs are on fire, the last punch to them ended with a loud crack._ _“Shut up. Tais-toi.” His words come out full of hatred and anger. He stands me up by the collar of my shirt, pushing me up against the wall, “Piece of shit why are you still here? You’re the one asking for it. Stop crying. Arrête de pleurer Jean! You’re fifteen now grow up. Don’t you know by now I hit harder than you?” He uses punches as punctuation and the last one to the gut leaves me reeling on the floor, tears flowing from my eyes._ _“Je commence papa…” is all I can get out between gasps. The hope is if I plead in French he will stop and understand more._

“Jean! Jean wake up!” I’m thrown out of my slumber and right into a panic attack. Gasping for air and shaking I sat up and tried to reach out for Marco but my body wasn’t cooperating. As if by instinct Marco climbed behind me wrapping both his arms around my chest and pulled me close. “Shhh it’s okay Jean, I’m here.”

                We sat like that for an hour, me resting on Marco as he stroked my hair and held me close whispering words of reassurance in my ears. My whole life I had never felt more safe and protected than I did when I was surrounded by Marcos arms and his gentle words.

“W-what time is it?” it was the first thing I could say to break the silence.

“About 4:30 in the morning. I heard you having another nightmare and came to check on you. This one seemed really bad, you were tossing and turning and talking too. Do you speak French?” His words came out calm and smooth.

“Yeah, French is my first language, both my parents are French it’s what we spoke at home most of the time…” I was genuinely surprised the words were coming out of my mouth so easily. “Did I wake you up?” I was really hoping he was up at 3:30 in the morning already but I knew that was unlikely seeing as he had class in the morning.

“Yeah, but it’s okay, really Jean. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” Somehow even while he was holding my shivering, panic filled body, his words came out gentle and his beautiful mocha eyes were full of compassion and understanding.

“I-is that why you’ve been sleeping with your door open? So you can check on me?” I felt like a pathetic child having his parents check on him while he sleeps.

“Yes, I just want you to feel safe and know that I’m always here for you Jean.” When those words left his mouth the only thing I could think was:

_What did I do to deserve Marco Bodt in my life?_  
  



	6. Realizations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean goes back to fight but is thrown a curve ball, not just in the ring but also just in life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic is a mess i know. ive already changed POVs once and now the tense is different too im so sorry i know its a hot mess right now but please bear with me. im just now getting back into writing after practically years of not writing fiction and my style has changed so much from when i started this fic. i'm trying make slow changes while trying to move it more in the direction of how i know how to write.

The cold November air sends shivers down my spine. It’s gotten to that point in the year where it’s warm T-shirt and shorts weather during the day, but as soon as the sun sets it becomes a bitter cold. As I make my way down the street I turn for a moment and spot Marco standing worriedly in the window. I can barely make out his face due to the fact that the light from behind him is casting a shadow across his gentle freckled face. His arms are crossed over his chest and his lips are pressed into a thin line conveying his worry as he watches me walk away into yet another pain filled night.

The walk feels longer than it should. I’m lost in my head the whole time. Why did I tell Levi to put me on the roster? Why did I convince myself that I wasn’t ready to leave the ring? Why did I think this was a good Idea? I don’t really feel like myself and it feels like something else is off but I can’t put my finger on it.

Before I realize it, I’m standing in the same dark alley that Marco found me laying in all those nights ago. The scent of overflowing dumpsters and general city smog fill my nose. I press my hand firm against the cool handle of the metal door that separates me from the fresh cool autumn air and guaranteed pain and suffering.

I’m met with bright lights and the ever growing sound of chatter when I cross the threshold into the building. For being an “underground fight ring” it’s actually fairly organized. There are multiple designated fighting areas, meeting spots for sponsors and their fighters, and places for the rich snobby spectators to place bets. I guess it’s the place where rich socialites and Wall Street type higher ups come to throw their money away and revel in seeing some scrappy kids get the shit beat out of them for sport.

That’s when it clicks. The reason why I’m here, the reason I couldn’t pull myself way just yet. It’s the word I have forever etched into my body. _Freedom._

But not freedom in the sense most people think of it. Most people wouldn’t consider being bound to something like this freeing, but in its own way it is. I am free to let go, free to do whatever the fuck I want when I am in the ring. Free to let loose of all the anger and hatred and anything else I may have pent up. It’s the perfect freeing outlet for a kid like me.

“Rat,” his stern voice draws me out of my thoughts, “We need to talk.” Levi beckons for me to follow him. I’m not sure how long he’s been a sponsor here but I assume quite a long time seeing as he’s worked his way up into the ranks and actually has some authority around here. He even has his own office hidden in a far back hallway that most don’t venture to.

I’ve only been in his office a handful of times, but it’s always the same. Slate grey walls and concrete floors, a single desk with a chair on either side of it topped with a laptop and various stacks of paper, and always clean. I don’t think I could find a speck of dust in his office if I tried. The small man gestures for me to sit in the chair opposite of him. I can feel my nerves starting to act up, sitting here with him rarely means anything good.

“There’s been a change in plans,” he starts, his grey eyes glimmering in the florescent light. My breath gets caught because I can sense in the tone of his voice that things didn’t change in a good way. “I tried my best to keep it the way it was planned…” He rambles on and I stop listening. It’s not like Levi to be stalling like this, he is typically a very straight to the point kind of guy.

“Out with it Levi, what changed?” I say trying to not let my voice waiver. Levi scares me. He’s small, very small, but his eyes cut like a knife and he’s built. If he wanted to he could drop me in a second.

“You’re up against Jaeger again. I tried to keep it how it was originally laid out, you against that Wagner kid, but the prissy bureaucrats that find joy in this shit want to see you against Jaeger again. I can’t change it Rat, I tried what I could.”

I was barely listening to what he had to say after he mentioned Eren’s name. I thought this was supposed to be a night for me to make an easy hundred, not get my ass completely killed. It was a miracle I beat Jaeger last time, I was genuinely surprised I pulled that off. But I don’t think I can do that again, especially because I’m still healing and I’m not quite feeling like myself tonight. Eren on the other hand will probably be fine by now, it’s like he’s not even human. Back in middle school he broke his arm so bad the bone ripped through his skin and you could see it clear as day. Not even two weeks later he was out of the cast. Those ribs and hand I broke a week ago are probably completely healed by now. I am royally _fucked_.

“Jean, are you even – “he starts.

“Yes. I heard you. W-when?” Short but not sweet. I can’t stop my voice from catching and I know he heard it too.

“Half hour. Ring number 3. I’m sorry kid I know I promised you and easy night but sometimes shit doesn’t work out how you want it to.” I leave as soon as he finishes speaking, I need fresh air. I make my way, mind racing, back out into the dirty alley to get a few lungful’s of its sorry excuse for fresh air. The rotten smell of the dumpster fills my nostrils. But anything is better than the hot sweat filled scent inside that damned building at this moment.

* * *

 

 The ring is surrounded on all four sides by eager spectators. I can see in their eyes the blood lust. The crowd is what I hate the most about being in the ring. They’re all blood thirsty but they can’t do anything about it themselves so they throw wads of cash at people they know won’t deny the pay, just to satisfy their hunger for gore and violence. They get to go back home to their cushy lives and families when it’s over as if nothing happened, and I get to take a trip to the clinic and find a cheap motel or sleep on the streets. No, I _got_ to find a cheap motel or sleep on the streets, I get to go _home_ tonight too. The word feels strange, I haven’t had a real home to go to in so long. _Until now, Jean,_ I remind myself.

I’m snapped out of my thoughts when I see Eren enter the ring from the side opposite of me. He has on khaki shorts that have a generous smattering of blood stains on them. _The same ones as last time._ His bare chest and back are covered in scars, scars he’s had for as long as I can remember yet I still don’t know what they came from. All through high school there were rumors as to what they were from but he never confirmed nor denied any of it. Shaggy brown hair flops over his forehead above his eyebrows, but those eyes of his. Blue or green, I can never quite decide which, but dare I say _gorgeous_ none the less. But no matter how pretty I seem to think his eyes are, they light an aggressive fire in my chest. Fueling me with anger I feel the rage and hatred begin to build in my rib cage. _Eren Jaeger, first class asshole._

Before Eren stepped foot in the ring I was borderline cold, the AC always seems to be on in the building considering how many people pack themselves in here to watch us fight as if we were Spartans in the colosseum. My bare chest and legs barely shielded by my torn and tattered shorts were covered in goosebumps. But then came Eren and the fire that resides in my ribcage warmed me up fast. I guess that’s the perk of being up against the person you probably hate the most. _Aside from your father, Jean, you hate him more._

* * *

 

We get the cue to start and within moments we’re walking around each other, hands guarding faces, trying to size each other up waiting to see who will throw the first punch. I know Eren will swing first, the prideful hot head would never let me have the satisfaction of landing one before he does.

Only a few seconds pass before my ribs are met by his fist. Bare knuckles dig into the ribs broken just the week before with a crack. The grin that spreads across his face is telling what I already know. _Fucker remembered._

We exchange a few more punches, most of mine landing right where I want. We’re both decently bloody and bruised by now, and I think I managed to break another rib of his. Aiming another fist for his jaw, I swing again but he jerks back to dodge it. I let out a sigh as I think I just threw a worthless swing until my knuckles connect with boney flesh. Blood spurts out of his nose and sprays across the off white dingy matting of the ring floor. Caught off guard, Eren stumbles back and shakes his head, maybe to clear his thoughts, I’m not sure. Regardless the reason little droplets of the red liquid fly violently and land on some of the people in the crowd. Naturally this makes the blood thirst tyrants go wild with cheers and shouts.

“Fuck Kirstein, how many times do you think you have to break nose? For fucks sake…” I don’t have time to chirp him back before I’m swept to the ground. Eren is more of a grappler and I should have learned by now but it always takes me by surprise when he knocks my feet out from under me.

I’m flung on my back with an _oomph_ as all the air is pushed out of my lungs. I manage to roll out of the way and back to my feet miraculously before Eren can land a nice kick to my side he was planning.

“I thought you were better than that Eren.” I say with a smirk when I manage to get my breath back. That’s when I realize I’m a dead man. I shouldn’t have said that to Eren of all people. I know he’s been holding back, trying to give me a little bit of a chance because he knows I’m still hurting from last week. He confirmed that with the first hit he made to my ribs.

“Oh Jeanboy, you don’t think I’m any good?” the words come out of his mouth like a patronizing father and I know instantly how fucked I am. He spits out blood that was pooling in his mouth, from what I assume is either from his nose or possibly one of the teeth I’m now noticing that I knocked out.

My thoughts don’t last long because I’m thrown onto my back again, this time with Eren straddling me throwing endless punches. Knuckles connect on my ribs, collar bones, and head. I’m trying everything I can do to get out from underneath him. He’s smaller than I am but slightly more built. The kid is all muscle and heavier than he looks.

The crowd goes dead silent as I manage to throw the smaller brunette off of me and stumble to my feet. I imagine it looks like an injured gazelle in a standoff with the lion that’s trying to make it his dinner. I usually have a lot more fight in me but the fiery pain radiating through my head and chest is blurring my thoughts and I find I can’t move my left arm much without sending a shooting pain through my body. _Would the gazelle give in and let the lion have the meal he knows he’s gonna get anyway? Or would he fight until he couldn’t possibly fight any longer?_

I summon as much strength as I can and make my way to Eren. Be both stand for a moment just staring at each other, me looking down at his blue-green eyes and tanned skin, and him up at me. I can see now the damage done to his nose, it’s probably the worst I’ve ever broken it and I have to say I’m a little proud.

“You uh, gonna do anything horseface?” he spits and I remember what I came over here to do. Eren is standing surprisingly still, not saying anything else. Just _waiting._ He’s giving me a chance of redemption. This isn’t like Eren, he’s a prideful hot head who doesn’t like losing. Maybe he saw it in my eyes or my body language that this is the last place I want to be right now. I place my hands on his shoulders and within a second the rolls have been reversed. Now he is lying flat on his back with me straddling him and just letting loose. Swing after swing every punch I throw lands somewhere, whether it’s his chest or face, I make every hit count.

My rein doesn’t last long as I feel his arms wrap around me and pull me down, his legs finding their place around my hips, and he rolls us over assuming his position of power on top of me. A solid punch to my left ear leaves my head spinning and a ringing echoing through my brain. I can’t hear the crowd anymore, they’re just white noise now. All I can focus on is the jolting pain in my head, my struggle to breathe as Eren is sitting on my chest, and how Eren mouths, or maybe says out loud I can’t be sure, the word “sorry”. Then I’m met with blackness.

* * *

 

I’m not sure how long I’m out, but I couldn’t have been terribly long. As I sit up a shooting pain runs through my body. Even without the weight of the smaller boy on my chest I’m still finding it hard to breathe. Eren is just now leaving the ring, the crowd parting for him. Looking around me with my blurred vision I see blood spattered all around the stiff mats that are supposed to be some sort of padding for us to fall on (even though the mats often leave bruises as much as the hits and kicks do). With Eren gone the crowd disperses to watch some other unfortunate souls duke it out.

Hauling myself to my feet trying not to pass out from the pain I hobble my way down the same abandoned corridor that Levi’s office is in trying to make it to the bathroom. The cold grimy tile on my bare feet is refreshing as I splash cold water on my face. The sight in the mirror isn’t as bad as I thought it would be, granted it’s still nothing pretty. There’s a nice shiner on my right eye and the white of my eye has been replaced with a violent red. Yellow and green bruises are starting to form along my jawline and cheeks. As per usual there’s a cut or too near my hairline and one through an eyebrow. Surprisingly Eren left my nose in one piece this time. What really catches me off guard is the blood dripping out of my left ear making its way down my neck.

My chest isn’t much better, if anything its worse. My left collar bone is obviously broken jutting out towards the center of my neck surrounded by swelling and bruising. I don’t even have to look at my ribs to know they’re messed up. Eren always goes heavy on my left side seeing as he’s right handed so my right sided didn’t take too bad of a beating. Before I can finish examining the damage my head starts spinning like a carousel similar to the night on Marco’s balcony but 10x worse.

“Jean –“I barely hear my name being called as I collapse on to the cold busted white tiles “Goddamn it kid…” I feel a hand, small yet strong, running through my hair and another resting on my chest.

I try to say something but all that comes out is a gasp for air and a painful cough. Rolling onto my side I pull my knees to my chest, curling up relieves some of the stress on my ribs and makes them hurt less. Another coughing fit sneaks up on me but I don’t think much of it in this head spinning state until I see it. _Blood. I’m coughing up blood._ There’s not much but enough to make me start to panic just because of the pure fact that _I’m coughing up fucking blood and I can’t breathe and everything hurts._

“He did a number on you Jean,” Hearing Levi use my actual name instead of his degrading pet name for me feels weird, feels more caring maybe, “come on let’s get you fixed up, okay?”

Has he always been so nice and caring? Have I just over looked it this entire time? And the same with Eren, why was he saying sorry? Maybe everyone isn’t as much of and asshole as I’ve always thought. Maybe being around “happy-go-lucky always seeing the good in people” Marco is rubbing off on me.

Like I said before, Levi may be small but he is anything but weak. Hauling me to my feet he practically drags me outside to his car. It’s a beat up black sedan, but as rough as it looks he has it as clean as can be. Typical Levi. He plops me in the passenger side seat and mumbles something about being back in a minute.

The scent of fake pine penetrates my mind. There’s one of those typical pine tree air fresheners hanging from the rear view mirror. Looking down I realize the seat I’m in is lined with a soft pink towel. He must not want to get any of my blood on his upholstery and I can’t blame him. Through my daze it takes a few minutes for the cold to really set in. _Maybe if you put your legs in the car and close the door you won’t be so cold, dumbass._ I struggle to lift my legs and put them in the foot well and during the whole process I let out a few more pitiful whimpers than I would like to admit. Not long after I get myself settled into the seat Levi comes back out with my little purple plaid backpack.

“I got your clothes and shoes, now let’s go see Hanji.” I reply only with a slightly bloody cough.

The drive is short, only a few minutes and we ride in silence. I’m thankful for that because my head is pounding and I still have a deafening ringing in my ear. I’m definitely not ready for the bright florescent lights that I know are going to blind me once we arrive at the clinic.

“What was tonight all about? I’ve never seen you so stagnant in there before. It’s like you wanted Jaeger to kick your ass.” His words though I’m sure are soft and quiet sound like a booming thunder in my spinning head. Trying to gather enough air in my lungs I respond.

“I haven’t felt like myself tonight,” I take another deep breath to finish, “and then you said I was fighting him. I knew I couldn’t beat him again…” it feels like it takes ages to get the words out because my lungs just won’t hold enough air. I have to keep stopping to gasp for that sweet oxygen I know I’m lacking. Maybe that’s why my head is spinning so much and my vision is so blurry. That or the dozens of hits to the noggin I took tonight.

I didn’t even notice when we arrived at the clinic. Levi said something about bringing Hanji out to get me but the ringing in my ear is preventing me from really focusing on any other sound. Aside from the shriek of Hanji’s voice when she yells my name.

“Jean!” she opens my door and cups my face in her hands “Oh my, what happened to you now? Come on let me get you all fixed up Hun.” The tone of her voice reminds me of how I imagine a caring mother should be. I’ve always thought of Hanji as a kind of motherly figure.

* * *

 

I’m not sure what exactly happens between the time Hanji met me at the car and me waking up. I’m not even sure how much time passes. When I open my eyes I’m met with white florescent lights blinding me. I do feel a little better, I’m in less pain. But that might have something to do with the IV sticking out of my right arm. My left arm is in a sling and draped across my chest. The obnoxious and endless ringing in my ear seems to have subsided but there’s still a dull ache. Breathing is also possible now. I take in a deep breath and enjoy the sensation of a full lung.

“Good morning sleepy,” I know that voice, but it’s not as chipper and sing songy as it usually is, “how are you feeling?”

I crane my head to look at him, the pale skin and bags under his eyes tell me he probably didn’t sleep well when I didn’t come home. His freckles stand out a hell of a lot more on the paler flesh unlike his normal tanned skin. I take in a deep sigh as I think about how much I must have worried him.

“I hurt. W-what time is it?” it never occurred to me that I’ve probably been out for quite a while.

“About noon. On Tuesday. Jean you’ve been pretty much out for two days.” He gently started brushing the hair out of my face with his fingertips locking eyes with me. His golden brown eyes look flat in this hospital lighting. Now all the concern on his face makes sense. Not a word from me for two days. And then it hits me, how did he know I was here? Did Hanji get a hold of him or did he come here looking for me?

“O-oh. I didn’t think…” I’m stopped by Hanji barging in.

“Look who’s up! Get some good rest? You’ve been in and out of it since Levi dropped you off the other night. Good news is if you’re feeling up to it Marco can take you home today!” Hanji has a way of just blurting everything out in one go and not letting anyone else talk until she’s done.

“R-really? He can go home?” I can sense a twinge of relief and happiness in his voice.

“Oh yeah of course! The only reason we kept him here the last two days was he was more unconscious than conscious. He was in and out of it so much I wanted to keep an eye on him. But Jean you’re feeling better now aren’t you? You’re up _and_ talking now. That’s good enough for me to send you home.”

Hanji and Marco leave the room, I see Hanji handing him some more medication bottles. I’m sure she’s already told him the extent of my injuries as well. I just want to go _home._ And I want Marco’s hands gently playing with my hair again. And his soft calming voice in my ears.

  _Fuck._

**Author's Note:**

> Okay guys, this one is a little longer than the last chapter and I hope you like it! Thank you guys! My tumblr is http://unnamedfaceao3.tumblr.com/ if you guys have any questions, comments, or even suggestions you can send them to me either on my Tumblr or on here!


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